I dont think there is anyone in this world out of all my family and friends, out of 7 BILLION people that know me exactly, can tell my mood by just texting me, who can tell when im in a listening or talking kind of mood. i dont think there is anyone in the whole world who has figured out that even though im skinny, have amazing friends and family, and for no reason at all i am depressed as hell and as thught about suicide. Ive thought about the medicine draw and how many pills it would take to peacefully sleep .. forever!! I constantly keep thinking about how i could take something and never have to worry about anything ever again, live in a world a hate, surrounded by people i hate, feeling trapped and alone, for no reason at all. I cannot explain my thoughts which is why no-one knows how i feel but i feel like i need that one friend, a friend, boyfriend, best friend, soul mate, parent, sibling.. like they do on films/tv shows, that one person that they confide everything and anything to. I dont have that, i never push anyone away, they just leave! I dont know whats wrong with me, my head is completely and 100% messed up, im scared and alone!