Saturday, 22 September 2012

More arguements..

I swear my dad is personally attacking me. Anything i say he will shout at me and have a go at me? And the worst thing is im not exaggerating at all (like i normally do). My mum was even sticking up for me and then kinda gave up. I talk to my dad a lot as we are quite close, but i swear he is so moody all the time, and he is really pushing me away. And i'm not the kinda girl to take shit all the time, i end up bitching about them and ignoring them until they leave my life. Bitchy, i dont care? If you hurt me, that's how its gonna be. I understand my dad is stressed and whatever, but why take it out on me? Every day is fresh and i start off smiling, but i swear every night, i end up pissed off at him. Why is this happening? Am i being tested on my patience, cause i swear im gonna fail!

Friday, 21 September 2012

Being normal

I'm not the most normal person you will ever meet, in fact sometimes i'm quite the opposite. I dont mind expressing my opinions and i laugh and have fun and dont care what people think of me but this is when i'm with my friends. All of my close friends are in different classes alot of the time to me! I have to be in one class where its one group of close friends, and of course they are all really popular. I am friendly with them, but we are not friends. How can i be myself when they will judge me. I guess you can call me two faced. I am crazy around my friends and 'normal' around those girls. Is that ok, or am i a bit of bitch?

The P word... PARENTS!


Everybody has a love/hate relationship with their parents. Some have more of a love relationship, while others have more of a hate relationship. But teenage years are about having arguments with your parents about anything and everything. Its just the way it is. They shout out about anything they can think of. For example, i am an extremely fussy eater. I love JUNK food, but proper meals, i just don't do. So pasta for dinner this evening, and i hate mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and anything else in the sauce. So, its not my favorite meal. And my parents hate the fact i pick at my food and eat soooo slowly. I cant help it, right? Its not my fault, but my parents dont seem to understand this, they think i snack too much during the day which is why i dont eat my dinner, but they have it all wrong. I just dont like the food, its not that im not hungry! I just wish that they could understand me more!


I wish i lived in paradise. As of yet, im not entirely sure i know where that is. But i do know, its perfect and beautiful! There is no stress or worries. You live day by day, not worrying about anything. No work to do, no bills to pay, stress free.. And thinking about this as i glance at my file of work, it makes me pretty depressed! Wish i had the luxury to not have to go to school, because i dont need a job, because i own my own private island and everything and everyone is perfect and life is a party! I know after a while i would be bored, but i'd rather luxury over stress and work and more stress. Life is much harder for the 'unknown, poorer' people, celebrities dont cherish their money as much as they should! Their life is a close to perfect as it'll get, and they dont seem to notice! *sigh*

Thursday, 20 September 2012


So there are some really pretty girls at my school, and i mean really pretty, a few of them are models! It sucks being little me, because, i hate being in the limelight but they have every piece of attention an guy can give. Its not really fair. Alot of the guys at my school are jerks anyway, but i'd like it if sometime, they would just let someone else have one single word. Prom is coming up soon, and i guess i know who will have a date and who won't. I dont mind really, i'll have a great time with my girls, but there is a part of me that wants someone to ask me and i'll go all fangirl when he does. But first thing, life isnt like the movies of tv shows and all the guys aren't 'hot' like on tv. Prom 2013, cannot wait....


Ever had a crush, unless you are a 6 year old, which i doubt you are, you have at sometime had a crush. Everyone has. It is so awkward, if they even glance your way you blush. And the worse thing is, when your best friend fancies the same guy. MEGA AWKWARD! You can talk about him together and laugh about stuff, but when it comes down to it, you are mega jealous, especially if they get more attention from him than you do. Still have feelings for the guy, try moving 8000 miles away from home. Knowing they see each other everyday makes you want to DIE! But there are hot guys here, just as friendly as he was. But its not the same, i dont know them like i knew him... But he wasnt always the sweet, funny, cute guy he is now. He used to be horrible, he said some horrible things to me, things i really wanna forget, but somehow cant? Why do i like him, because you have no control over feelings, and it SUCKS! - Welcome to the loooong teenage years, they suck!!!!

Homework is a bore

Everybody loves homework, said no-one ever. Teachers expect us to be full on learning at school at all times and then also expect us too do an hour of homework after school. But when you have so many classes, its so hard. I don't mind doing homework if i get extra credit for it, but most of my teachers give you detention if you don't do it and ignore the fact you did it if you did do it. Teachers are so confusing, they have morals that make no sense and change as soon as the situation changes. I know they have 'homework' too, i am sure they have tonnes of paperwork, but it is there job. School is our life and we deserve to get time out. Not long left till we can leave, here is to the future...

Too many decisions

Recently, i have had so much more control over my life than i am used too! I've had to make some pretty tough decisions, making the best one is always hard and no-one will ever make the perfect decision as there is no perfect choice in life but making the best out of bad situations is my new motto. Forget what people want you to do, choose the decision you want to make and deal with consequences of making that decision. Even though things may turn out different from what you may have expected, at least you wont fall out with anyone after you blame them for making the wrong decision. The only person you have left to blame is yourself and arguing with yourself is pointless. Follow your dreams and even when you fall back, at least you'll know at the time, you made the right decision.

Feeling invisible..

You know that feeling when you feel like you are the on the only person who knows you are here. Everyone else is either ignoring you. I get that all the time. I speak to someone, they don't reply. I smile at someone, they look away! Too start with I thought it was me, but don't take it personally, a lot of people don't realize that one action can cause so much confusion in your mind. I think that now feeling invisible is good, that means i don't have to converse with people i don't like and i also don't have to worry about what people are thinking about me, let's face it it i'm invisible! So next time you feel invisible, take the benefits out of the situation and move on..

School life is always hard

You have the popular girls who just bitch about anything that breathes. Everyone tries to ignore them but sometimes the rumors are just too harsh. Its even worse when they say it too your face. This one girl at my school said to this girl 'i saw this really pretty girl the other day. She was really pretty for a BLACK girl.'what a racist bitch. You shouldn't think like that mind about say it. I just sometimes wish popular girls would realize that what they say may seem 'funny' at the time to them, but it actually hurts people. And why are they called 'popular girls' all their friends bitch about them so why are they seen as popular. I suppose they are popular with the guys as they just sleep around with everyone. I used to be popular then I met a nice group of friends! And the reason I left my old group was because they made me feel insecure and they were all un-trustworthy. How can anyone be friends with them? But now I am living about 8000 miles away from my friends, I realize how important they are too me! I miss them! Doesn't life just throw such sour lemons at you sometimes!

New to the blogging world!

This is the first time I've ever blogged anything, other than Tumblr of course! But this isn't anything like Tumblr! Tumblr is full of hipsters and naked people! It's disturbing to think our generation is like that! Life goes on... After watching the mtv show "awkward" i couldnt help but start my own blog! Whether this gets any views, replies, etc. I dont care, I just needed to find a new way to express things, without people i know judging me! So this is my *secret* blog!